I was thinking, as I came across a quote by Theodore Roosevelt—is comparison the thief of joy? Does comparison to how things “used to be” steal the pleasure of living in the ordinary moments of life now?
Before your life is interrupted by a life change, there are a load of things you can take for granted—good health, a great job, family, friends, a nice home, trusting my body, being fearless about most things.
By taking for granted, I don’t mean not abusing them, but more or less you didn’t really think about these things too much. After all, don’t you expect to have all of these things in our life all the time?!
You see, you just expect to be healthy when you exercise and eat well—being healthy was the reward. You work hard to establish a career, so shouldn’t you expect that hard work should give you that reward?
Most of the time you just don’t even think about your body until something happens or goes wrong, especially an illness. Then your body gets loads of attention. After being illness—how could you trust your body not to fail you again or had you failed it?
Focus of the future you want
Trouble was you didn’t generally know how to. It’s in those moments that you can start to think about how easy things were before and how difficult they seemed to be now. It’s in these moments that comparisons can steal the joy of living and the ability to live a full life.
You need to find tools to get through this period and these three tools are simple but effective to make sure that you keep your focus on the life you wanted not the life you had…
3 Simple Tools For Finding Joy
1. One tools is a gratitude journal.
Journaling all of the things you are grateful for will keep you focused on all the joy in your life. If you compare events in your journal, you are comparing joy to joy, not how things used to be. This keeps you sane in some of the awkward moments when comparison tries to steal your fun days.
2. Set a new vision, mission and goals for your life.
It empowers you to take charge of your life or watch it slip away. This literally saved my life, as I did it at a period when I really needed help but couldn’t find it anywhere. This focus keeps you looking forward all of the time, rather than backward. Once I had completed my vision and mission, I typed it up on an A4 sheet of paper, laminated it and hung it in the shower. It was my daily reminder of where I was going and it gave me a morning reminder every day of what I needed to focus on. It worked a treat and it still hangs in my shower all these years later.
3. Choose your attitude.
“Attitude” by Charles R. Swindoll everyday. You can download a copy for yourself here. A friend gave it to me when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer and I still have that copy in my gratitude journal. So each day it’s a ready reminder…what else do you do in the shower while you are waiting?!
Like this? Please share it and help a few more people learn a little more about how to achieve their deepest desires.
Love Gai
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I remember that list when I was staying at your place, I made a mental note to do the same at home for myself, however I never did, maybe it’s time. You are an inspiration to so many. Xx
It’s still there Millie. The shower is a great place to set a wonderful intention for the day, it makes sure you don’t waste any time being stuck in a negative thought. Hugs Gai
I am really enjoying your emails. I have found much comfort in many of the issues that you have discussed. It has helped me to understand alot of my emotions that I could not find answers to. I thought that these emotions were just mine and by reading through your emails I realized that I am not alone. Thank you for you reaching out to those of us who have been affected by cancer.
Thanks Tammy, I am so pleased that you are finding some value and comfort. I thought it was just me too, when I finished treatment and felt worst than when I was diagnosed. Then a few year later I found that 100% of breast cancer surveyed in different research indicated experiencing some kind of “survivor loneliness” but yet no one was talking about it publicly, I felt it was time to change that. The more women that understand this will/can happen the easier the transition from treatment may be for them. This was the reason I interviewed the 20 ladies for the Survivor Secrets guides – to make sure it’s not a secret anymore. Love and Hugs Gai
Oh my goodness….you may have just saved my life. Your words were spot on. I didn’t know why I could plug away through chemo working and living…and now that the worst is over feeling exausted and hopeless…no one understands…Thank you for letting me know I’m not crazy ❤
The period following treatment can be a confusing and isolating time. Quiet often you hold yourself together until that last chemo session over and then wait for life to return to normal. You sit silently and wait and wait but life just doesn’t seem to shift back as you expect it to. I’m pleased that you were able to find some confidence knowing that it is possible for life to get better again..Hugs Gai