I am just back from enjoying a couple of weeks in London visiting with friends. While I was dragging my bags up and down the stairs at the tube and railway stations, I had a very quick reminder of where I was, when the familiar, “Mind The Gap” message came over the PA system. You see, when you travel by train, there is generally quite a large gap between the platform and the train and you get a very polite reminder each time a train pulls in.
I had a little laugh to myself as it reminded me of the gap I experienced when I had finished my treatment and found myself needing to “mind the gap” between my old life and my new life.
It was a bit of a dogfight to be honest. When the reality of life pushed, I pushed back. I resisted for as long as I could. I just wanted to settle back into my old life, so when change came knocking, I didn’t answer the door. I was always open to change, but seriously, hadn’t I been through enough?!
What Does The Gap Look Like
You see, I never expected the period when the treatment finished to be worse than when I was diagnosed. But for me and so many other, it is. It wasn’t until I realised that I didn’t have to change, my illness had already done that. I needed to “Mind The Gap” between where I was now and what I wanted in my life now. It can manifest in so many ways that aren’t immediately obvious.
The gap looks different for everyone, it might even look like this for you:
» Not really engaging with people.
» Thinking about your children growing up without their mother.
» How will your husband cope if you aren’t there?
» Thinking about your troubles 24/7.
» Being stressed at work.
» Restless sleep.
» Imagining the worst.
» Finding it hard to stop the pattern of thinking negative thoughts.
» Fighting with control issues in an attempt to stay well.
» Feeling depressed, anxious, sad or alone.
» Feeling unfulfilled.
When it was time to forge my new future there was no help at all. But by this time, I was determined to work through it and found the answers. So, if it’s time to get to work on bridging the gap and moving forward, this is the most effective way I have found and coached to bridge the gap from where you are to creating a life that you’ll love…
Step 1: Follow A Process
Without a process to follow, you risk wandering around aimlessly. Some people wander around aimlessly for years. A step-by-step process will give you a plan to get from where you are to where you want to be. You will have the steps to follow, so that you know where you are and what’s coming next. It will keep you looking forward and it will get you to the outcome you are focused on achieving.
Step 2. Get Clarity On What You Want For Your Future
It is easy to make a list of goals and stick them somewhere and never do anything about them. If you want to bridge the gap, you will only get there by taking action and more importantly, the right actions. When you get clarity on what you truly want in and for your life, you can then start to understand what actions will get you there in the most effective way possible. Without clarity you will end up following someone else’s lead in your life and end up living their life not yours
Step 3: Get Focused
When you have clarity, you can then start to get extremely focused on those goals. Clarity and focus will start to get you saying Yes! to what you want in your life and a qualified No! to everything else. Come on, I know that we have all at one point accepted an invitation to something that was never where you wanted to be. So you went and complained all the way through it. Don’t give yourself a reason to complain about feeling unfulfilled in your own life. Getting focused on what YOU want will give you all the reasons why you do what’s in your best interest, not everyone else’s.
Step 4: Take Action
All the best intentions in the world won’t change your life. The only thing that will do that is to have a plan and take the actions you need to achieve it. Taking the right actions at the right time will help you bridge the gap faster. If you miss this step, nothing will change, but eventually sometimes it will happen to force you to move forward. It’s much better to make that decision for yourself and do the work now.
Step 5: Reward Yourself
When you do the work – reward yourself. What is it that you would really like to give yourself as a gift? It doesn’t have to be huge or expensive, just something that will mean something to you and recognise that you have achieved something significant in your life. You decided what you wanted, you went after it and you won!
“Mind The Gap” is a great way to remember that you want or have achieved change in your life. Being back in London, I heard it almost everyday and I had a little chuckle to myself just how far I have come since 2000 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s a great reminder of all the ways my life has changed and how I created a life that I love and you can do it too!
How do you “Mind The Gap” in your life? Please leave a note in the comments. I would love to hear how you remind yourself how far you have come or that you have some work to do.
Like this? Please share it and help a few more people learn a little more about themselves and how they can bridge the gap in their life.