A few years ago I started to wonder what my life might feel like and look like if I made a few changes in my life.
Nothing major (joking!) just leaving my job, move to live in another country, rent my house out, selling my car, leave my friends and all that was familiar and comfortable…….
It was a big journey but I felt that if I took small baby steps, I could make it work. I expected some bumps along the way, and knew that rather than fearing them I would deal with them when and if they surfaced.
Some friends thought I had lost the plot but I really just wanted to live my life and be amazed by things rather than wondering what “living differently” might be like.
To make these changes effectively, I knew I would need to have a few things in place to support myself. If I didn’t have the right support, then the change simply won’t stick I could step back into fear and back into what was comfortable.
I set out to study people who had successfully changed their life and see if I could find some commonality between them. These are three of the common success pillars, which they had used and that helped me make the changes.
Skills + Mentoring + Community
Do you have these three things in place?
Get The Tools, Skills and Resources You Need
The first change I made was to leave my job. My company was in the middle of a major merger and it was an intense environment to work in. I had worked with my company for a long time and sat on so many committees I had lost track. It was tiring and exhausting and I had no capacity or personal time.
I had to face one of my fears which was leaving a job without another one to go to. It took a few months to get used to the idea but leaving my company after 29 years working there gave, me a total sense of freedom.
To put myself in a place to be able to do this I had to focus (invest time, energy and money) in gaining the skills, resources and tools I would need to make changes and keep me pointed in the right direction.
One of the tools I used was to go on a retreat to Bali one month after I had left work. It was just long enough so that I was settled from leaving work and was able to make the most of the opportunity of meeting new people and thinking differently about life and let go of a load of baggage. This was the first time I had traveled anywhere alone and it changed my life.
Find A Mentor To Help You
I struggled with some fear along the way and had a mentor to help me get through those times.
Life can be too hard when you are trying to do everything by yourself because you you just don’t have all the answers. I have worked with mentors in many areas of my life. The guidance I have received has helped me to stay balanced and pulled me through when fear has started to take over.
One of things I did when embarking on such a big change in my life was to have regular guidance sessions, every two weeks. This has been one of the best impacts on my life and helped me stay focused on the life I was creating.
Mentors or advisors will provide guidance and help you overcome the obstacles, get clarity on your goals, put a specific action plan in place, clarify which skills you may need help with, help you remove distractions and optimise your environment, clear out any beliefs, doubts and fears that will constrict and limit your success.
Don’t think you have to have all the answers otherwise you will never make to first step or fear will cause you to retreat rather than expand.
Find A Community That Fits You
I often move in and out of different communities to find the support I need. As I grow and make changes to my life, clearing out leaves room to welcome change. Otherwise I could get crushed under the weight of trying to do everything, which just wouldn’t work.
I have made many new friends on my travels. Friends who have a similar lifestyle and just “get me” and support what I am creating in my life. I quickly know when I am in a community that isn’t quite right because I find myself defending my choices and that is not how I want to spend my time.
A community should pull you forward. So often, people find a community, but not the right one! The community you are looking for is a community of people who are motivated by success rather than fear.
Fear can be a motivator, but fear will motivate you into survival mode rather than achievement mode. You are about success now, so the community you need to be part of is motivated by success. This is a community which is looking forward and pulling you forward when you need a lift rather than giving you an excuse not to achieve.
Do you have these three things in place? Drop me an email and let me know what you have in place right now or where you think you might have a gap.
Like this article? Please share it and help your community to find their focus and stay positive and motivated