There is no doubt that a major disruption in your life, turns your life upside down. When things are settling back into place, the foundation that you had before can be very unbalanced and full of gaps and crevices.
If you could ask me any question over coffee what would you ask? One of the “coffee questions” from the community was –
If you were ever in a rut, how did you get yourself out of it, setting intentions doesn’t seem to be working?
Shine A Light Into Dark Spaces
You may find that you “get stuck” in one of those gaps or crevices and not know how to get out. The good thing is, when you are in a dark cave, the light gets in through the gaps. Building resilience can help you widen the gaps to let more light in.
Resilience is about how you bounce back from life’s challenges and setbacks. Focusing on growing your resilience is about baby steps one at a time, it is not about sprinting.
Three Ways To Grow Your Resilience To Get Out Of A Rut
Baby Step 1. Understand What You Value Now
One of the aspects of a major disruption is thinking that life will be the same when everything settles down again. The truth is, you have changed as part of the experience, and one of the things that changes is what you value.
I’m sure you have heard the saying “don’t sweat the small stuff,” where things that used to be big problems or a big focus for you, don’t seem as important anymore. One exercise you can do to help yourself is to review your values.
Write down the 10 most important things in your life. Then eliminate five of them, then another two, then another two. What is left is the most important thing to you, this exercise can take a while as you wrestle with what’s most important to you.
Odds are, this is different to what it was before. Just understanding what you value now, can shift your thinking and give you a change in focus.
Baby Step 2. Focus On Someone Else
“If we throw all of our problems in a pile saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.” Regina Brett
Taking the focus from yourself to someone else can help you move. Focusing on their life, their joy, their fun, can help you see what is good in your life. When you can see the joy in your life and can focus on what lights you up, you can start to grow that in your life again.
Baby Step 3: Intentions Don’t Work As Tactics
Intentions don’t work as tactics, but when you practice them, they can become strategies. As strategies, intentions are more useful. Understanding the difference between tactics and strategies and how to make the shift is another small step.
It is not surprising that you got stuck, as it is really easy to underestimate the impact that such a disruption can have in your life. The good news is that taking one small step at a time can help you find your way out in no time, but you have to take action; sitting on the couch won’t get you there.
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