She paid me a visit tonight.  I used to judge her and sometimes even chastise her, but now I try to find out what she is trying to tell me. 

Tonight I went to yoga class.  I am practicing in a new studio which I had only been to once before.  Before I walked out the door at home, I checked the timetable to make sure I had the time right. I did. 

It was a beautiful, sunny day, with a slight breeze blowing to soften the heat of the sun, so I was looking forward to the 30 minute walk.  I love walking to yoga, as it gives me the opportunity to let go of my day before I get on the mat.  I was particularly looking forward to this class, as it was an Ashtanga class, my absolute favourite. 

I walked into the studio with a big smile on my face, but that all changed when I looked at the sign-in sheet.  In big letters all I could see was “SLOW FLOW”.  “No, No, No” was screaming in my head; that was my worst nightmare.  I didn’t want to be slow, I wanted a strong, powerful, and fast class. 

That is when “she” showed up and entered into the discussion.  She started, “Maybe the timetable on the internet was wrong, as I am sure I checked” and “I really don’t like ‛slow’. What a drag”.

“She” was that little part of me that on that day wanted to play the “victim”.  The woe is me, how bad the world is treating me today. 

I stayed for the class and asked that little part of me, what her message was and why did she show up today.  I didn’t try to rationalise with her.  When you’re in the energy, there really isn’t any point because what you look for are ways to justify why you are right.  That only leads to more drama. 

This is what I learned tonight by asking her to teach me, rather than stepping further into the drama with her. 

1.  Things don’t always go your way, that’s life.  It is your choice to deal with it in an empowering way by choosing to learn from it, or disempowering way by using it to feed the drama in your life and inviting more drama in. 

2. When you take time to “slow” down, you start to feel and see what triggers the drama, which enables you to choose how you respond rather than acting from autopilot and a preconceived notion of how you think the world should be. 

3. You also take responsibility for whatever the situation is and understand that it is yours to own, and then own the solution as well, rather than blaming the world and expecting “them” to fix it.

The funny thing is “she” doesn’t show up when “big things” happen, for example, when I got divorced, lost friends in acts of terrorism, and diagnosed with breast cancer. 

Instead, she shows up when small things happen and tries to make them big things. For example, someone cuts you off in traffic, staying in a queue that just doesn’t seem to move fast enough, or when you arrive at yoga for the wrong class!

I would love to hear how “she” shows up in your life.  What could you do to be the heroine in your own life? What “drama” could you let go of and choose a more empowering path and outcome for yourself? 

Love,

Gai

P.S. I loved the class and it was exactly what I needed 🙂

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